His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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