youre lurking in front of me
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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