I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
smell my finger.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
