Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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