I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
