I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
