I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
