I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She's the barista slut.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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