he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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