Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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