$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
