I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
