A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
