u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
