I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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