That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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