So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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