Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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