I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
