Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
