Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
