She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
