tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
