Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
