i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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