1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
