i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
MIDGETS
????
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
