Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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