My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
