I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
