I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
