I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
