are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
