When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
