Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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