did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
