We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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