Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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