You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
