maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
