I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
