So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
