she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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