Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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