I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
