how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
