Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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