Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
