dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just tell him i said nine months
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
