I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
