he wants to bone in the snuggie
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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