it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
