Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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