Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
